Advice To Young Men Who Would Be Pleased By The Company Of Young Women

I've neglected this blog, but what the hell: About a week ago, I was at Kroger. It was a Thursday night (party night for your suitcase college attendees), and I passed these two young men in the parking lot. It was a brisk fall night, so there was no reason for me to smell them as I passed ten feet away.

But I did. They must have bought the Axe Body Spray crap lock, stock, and barrel, because this oily cloud of douchiness engulfed me as I passed them. I wanted to tell them, "No! Stop! You reek!" But they would have blown me off as some old broad.

We ladyfolk learned that lesson back in the '70s and '80s. Remember Jean Naté? I still have a bottle of it because it allegedly freaks cats out, and if you spray it on your sofa, they won't claw it. I don't think that's true, but it's nice to think that our feline friends have more discerning tastes than people who would wear Jean Naté.

Any scent that's dispensed in aerosol form is inherently trashy.

Those boys in the Kroger parking lot were adorable, and their own soapy-fresh boy-musk would have been heady enough for any girl. But noooo! They had to spray themselves with cheap perfume and propellants!

Would that propellants become repellants.

Does anybody want to schtup these guys? If so, how do they stop the watering of their eyes?

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